It's not that I think stupidity should be punishable by death. I just think we should take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem take care of itself.
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Please note: I love receiving e-mails from anyone, as long as you're not a snotty prick. If you're a snotty prick, feel free to send an e-mail, but plan on being mocked on my site. Thanks! --Rob



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Slap of the Month Winners:
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Stone Four
Need some writing
or photography done?
Slap! - Daniel Zueras
Today's Slap is going to be rather unusual. Back when he suggested Leo Segarra, Mac also suggested another contestant from Spain's version of American Idol, Daniel Zueras. Unfortunately, it's been rather difficult to find pictures of Daniel, so instead I'm going to Slap him with the very hot video that Mac sent along. I'm sure you've seen it elsewhere, but it really is totally Slap-worthy:



There are a few small caps from the video that you can see here:




Comments
I'd maild u to post this video earlier, but looks like u did not receive it! Anyways, what matters is it should b seen by all bnt luvrs and that's done! SO, thanks!
shp | 2011-05-09 21:51

I don't get this at all. This video is more laugh-worthy than slap-worthy. What's up with that bizarre pillow fight? And why does this guy feel compelled to stare stupidly at the camera whenever he is singing?
Tris | 2011-05-09 21:51

fun vid. love the fuzzy chest. the other guy might be hotter than the singer. what bugged me was the implant boobs. they ARE a bit more open about sexuality in spain than here, huh? seems like his main concern was to get the guy, the woman was a bit in the way.
anonymous | 2011-05-09 21:51

Wow, that is some party. Thank Heaven for our government and how they protect us all from seeing such filth. :) DD
DD | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Burton Roberts
Some time back, Robert wrote to suggest that I Slap Survivor (from season 7) hottie Burton Roberts. And after seeing the pics, I'm sure you'll agree that he's totally Slap-worthy. But the weird thing was - I got everything rounded up, all the pictures, etc., and got them posted, but then I never published it. As I've said before, I'm apparently losing it.

So anyway, I'm finally getting Burton out there.

The real question, however, is: Do you like him better with the beard or without?



More Burton Roberts


Comments
Two words: HOLY SHIT!!! What a HUNK! But without the beard, for sure...well, 5-o'clock shadow looks good.
Mark | 2011-05-09 21:51

He definitly looks much hotter with the beard. ^_^
Jonathon | 2011-05-09 21:51

Hotter with a shadow, I remember he was SO HOT in a pair of speedos when he was on 'Battle of the Network Reality Stars'.
Dan | 2011-05-09 21:51

I think he looks much better with the beard - and I didn't even think I liked facial hair.

Matthew | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Kyle Schmid
Today's Slap comes courtesy of David, who wrote of seeing Kyle Schmid on Lifetime in a show called Blood Ties where he was playing a 450-year old (and very sexy) vampire.

Fortunately, I was able to find, courtesy of Dreamcaps of Kyle playing as a vampire. I also found some pics of him doing other stuff, including some very hot skin pics from Zerophilia and Beautiful People.

I'm not terribly fond of the hair he's showing here, but the rest of him is easily hot enough to overlook some icky hair...



More Kyle Schmid


Comments
It seems to be a requirement of vampire movies that the male eye candy resemble Scott Speedman. On the bright side, this guy is pretty hot in all but his pre-jump pic.
Tris | 2011-05-09 21:51

Quite nice eye candy... and the vampire schtick always makes someone much sexier!!! Thanks, Rob
Steve | 2011-05-09 21:51

Yummy!
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

wow; whata handsome guy --- really like the sweaty, dark hair in his armpit --- am i the only one that notices that?
anonymous | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Makes sense to me...






SpeedBump


Comments
OK, this is gonna sound gross but its REALLY Good - half a bottle of YooHoo and half of Baileys! Thats how I got through college. Yeah, I was a philosophy major...
Scott | 2011-05-09 21:51

I'm pretty sure my professor used to pull this same stunt. Either way, he was one of the best professors I had.
Alex | 2011-05-09 21:51


Slap! - Stavros Niarchos
Don sent along a request, along with a set of pictures, for a Slap of Stavros Niarchos. This heir to a Greek shipping fortune is has been catching diseases from dating Paris Hilton. I don't know if they're still dating, but every decent picture of him seemed to include Her Skankiness. Oy.

He's still hot.



More Stavros Niarchos

Update (4/26/2007): What the hell is wrong with me? I meant to make a snarky comment about some sort of disease. But Snarf got it in for me. Thanks!


Comments
He's really cute, but aren't there any pictures of him without that Parisite clinging to him?
Robby | 2011-05-09 21:51

Can't say much for his taste in "women" though..Of all the places I thought I'd never have to look at the Hollywood Ebola Virus.
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

This guy is soo hot. Best pic (for me) is that pic (what is he wearing on his head?) by the potted plant --- his chest is at its hairiest and you get a quick look at his hairy armpits. Not to mention the furry abs --- total turn on. Anyone agree?
anonymous | 2011-05-09 21:51

I agree. I want to bury my face in that fur.
Sam | 2011-05-09 21:51

Random hottie - AB de Villiers


Tottyland has some important information about watching cricket matches...


Comments
Holy boy titties, Batman!!! He looks just like Shane of Coto de Caza.

He'd make a great plate on which to serve, and off which to eat, various delectable treats.
Randy Devil | 2011-05-09 21:51


Aspen
My husband and I took a walk this evening...









Comments
Spring has sprung!
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

beautiful!
Tim | 2011-05-09 21:51

Thank you for showing "the road less traveled by". Spring is certainly beautiful and we are lucky to be here to see such splendor and appreciate the warmer weather and the glorious flowers.
OK, enough of that, now back to the men!!!!!
RiC | 2011-05-09 21:51

American Idol
OK, what do you think of the results? Ryan was surely right - it was shocking. My husband thinks Phil gets the most out of what happened. What do you think?

And if you're particular about spoilers, don't read the comments - I've probably already spoiled too much.


Comments
If you have a bad performance and America votes you off, you should have to leave. The "combining" of votes could possibly be a rip-off for next weeks loser. I'd sue if I was that person :) DD
DD | 2011-05-09 21:51

We'll have to wait til next week but that wasn't nice what they did to my cutie Jordin. Lakisha could be in trouble but I think she gets one more pass based on her earlier performances. I didn't agree w/the judges who raved over Chris. He was nasally and took a beautiful Clapton song and made it ordinary. He's adorable but I think he's going home next week.
jk | 2011-05-09 21:51

Slap! - Enrique Iglesias
Surfing around OhLaLa Paris yesterday, I came across information that Enrique Iglesias is to have a guest appearance in an upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men. The nice thing was that OhLaLa had a lovely pic of Enrique without his shirt on - you'll see it after the jump - and I was reminded that I've never Slapped him, which is really unforgivable.

Add to that the fact that Lars requested him in a comment just a few days ago, and I knew it was time. I've thought Enrique was hot for ages and ages - since Escape - and when he had that small animal removed from his face, he only got better looking.



More Enrique Iglesias


Comments
Thank you, Thank you, swoon!
Lars | 2011-05-09 21:51

I never thought of ANNA KOURNIKOVA as a small animal. That's too funny!
Scott | 2011-05-09 21:51

The big question is whether he is ever going to release another CD - It's been years since "7".
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

his new CD in stores June 21st
ron | 2011-05-09 21:51

Show/Hide More Comments...

How cool is this?


Scientists have found a planet, oribiting a star 20 light years distant, that is more similar to earth than any other "exoplanet" yet discovered.


Comments
VERY COOL ! Now we just need to figure out how to get there !!!
Bleu | 2011-05-09 21:51

Now the question: Do we get frequent flyer miles? Plus is there a McDonalds yet?
KarlP | 2011-05-09 21:51

Too bad we can't get there in our lifetimes and that only half the planet has light from the red dwarf star it orbits.
Rick | 2011-05-09 21:51

Great! We find a new planet like ours, and none of us will ever have a chance to go there. Perhaps, through reincarnation can we enjoy the beauty of this new planet - at least before Starbucks and McDonalds gets there!!!
RiC | 2011-05-09 21:51

Idol
Chris Richardson - If I Could Change the World
Chris started out a little pitchy tonight, but seems to be settling in. I like the arrangement he's doing, but I'm worried it wasn't quite strong enough. He had a pretty solid ending, though, so hopefully that sticks in the voters' minds. B.

Randy I'm surprised he liked it so much.

Simon And Simon liked it too? Wow.

I am very happy to say the judges disagree with me, because I definitely want Chris to stick around.

Melinda Doolittle - I don't even know what she sang...
Is there anything Melinda can't sing? Again, she showed how it should be done - she is ALWAYS invested in her performances, and commits 100% to what she does. A.

And I love the fact that she doesn't look surprised at the judges' praise. She's starting to believe that she's good.

Blake Lewis - Imagine
I have to confess, this is not my favorite song, no matter who does it, but we'll see. I think Blake's doing a very good job with this song, but he's really not making it his own, is he? Not that it's easy to do a different arrangement of this song, but still... B+.

Randy "I wanted more." -- I gotta agree, I wanted more too.

I'm glad to see that Paula and Simon liked it, but still I gotta say I was craving more.

LaKisha Jones - I Believe
Well, this will be interesting. This was one of Fantasia's best performances in season 3, and I think LaKisha can do it, but it'll be a challenge. I think she did quite a nice job, but I was disappointed that she missed one of the most important phrases in the song: "Overcome any obstacle..." Fine, that's how she chose to arrange it. But I think it was an important component of the original, and really delivered the listener and the performer to the next thought and vocal level. That said, she did a good job with it; not as good as Fantasia, but good. B+.

Randy "Not your best, but good." Yep.

Simon "I'm having an issue with the shouting." Well, I don't think she shouted it.

But I think the judges nailed it - it's hard to keep up, on that kind of song, with Fantasia.

Phil Stacey - The Change
Can I cast a hex on Phil? Would that be wrong? Oh. Big surprise. Phil picks a country song. And tugs at America's heart strings. Oy. I wonder if he's on the VoteForTheWorst.com site this week? Answer: yes. Duh. And he's living up to his billing this week. Could he shape those notes any more? This is just icky and over the top gross. Augh. I'm sure my bias is showing through, but so what? Fuck Phil. I hope he goes home. C.

Randy "Another strong performance." I don't think so.

Simon "I really like you." AUGH! NO!!! I trusted Simon to trash him.

Jordin Sparks - You'll Never Walk Alone
There were a couple of pitchy spots here and there, but they really didn't detract from the performance. And Jordin gets better every week. She kinda let her voice get away from her at the tail end, but overall a good job. A-.

Randy "One of the best AI vocals ever." Oh, come on. Are you kidding me?

Simon "Fantastic." Yes, I thought she was fantastic, but it certainly wasn't one of the best ever. Not even the best of the night.


Once again, Melinda leads the pack. And Phil should go home. I'm worried that Blake or Chris might get booted instead, so I've gotta get to my phone and vote...


Comments
that's my guess too...
dae | 2011-05-09 21:51

Slap! - Leo Segarra
Mac wrote from the Philippines to suggest that I Slap today's victim, Leo Segarra. Leo, apparently was in Spain's version of American Idol (called Operacion Triunfo):
...Leo gets a headstart by displaying his quite toned torso in his album cover. Kinda expected, actually, as the boy has nonchalantly paraded throughout the show season's run shirtless most of the time.
Well, I found a shirtless pic or two, and that's quite a statement - hopefully someone out there will have more pics that will be of interest. Leo has a slightly dorky look, but when he takes that shirt off, WOW!



More Leo Segarra

Mac sent along a YouTube link to one of Leo's videos.

Update (5/1/2007): If you liked Leo Segarra, be sure to check out the new pictures that Mac referred me to.




Comments
wow. viva espana!
matt | 2011-05-09 21:51

muy caliente! gracias!
anonymous | 2011-05-09 21:51

The video is definitely worth checking out.
Sam | 2011-05-09 21:51

He looks a little like Topher Grace-- but with a RAW sexuality. YUM!!!
Jason | 2011-05-09 21:51

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The AFA strikes again
I got this survey from one of my mailing lists today. It's a bigoted survey by the lovely AFA, asking the question "Should corporations be promoting homosexuality?" You can respond that you would be more or less likely to do business with a company that "promotes the homosexual agenda", or that your decision would not be affected.

I first saw the survey some time ago and of course I answered it. And I encourage you to do the same if you don't mind giving your e-mail address to the AFA.

That, however, is not my purpose here. My purpose here is to document the current vote tally. You see, I swear that I remember the "more likely" tally being higher than the number you see below in my screen capture taken at approximately 2:40pm MDT. I'm not 100% certain, however, so I figured I'd document the current totals and check it out a bit later, just to see. So if you decide to participate in the AFA's foolishness, make note of the totals and see if you see any discrepancies.

Update: D'oh! Forgot the screen cap.



Comments
I responded to the survey as "Joe Blow" at "gay@gayest.com." It worked, so you don't actually have to give those ignorant jerks your email address.
Sam | 2011-05-09 21:51

I went on the site three times under three different names and said "more likely to do business with," and the tally supporting that position never moved off of 6,238. I then went in and chose "less likely" and noticed the tallies for all three categories weren't actually moving. So they've either blocked me out, shut down the tally, or have just entered the numbers they want to post, with their preferred choice coming out on top (no pun intended).
John | 2011-05-09 21:51

The totals were support companies that support the homosexual agenda 6,000 do not support companies 188,000 and not affected 4,000. What year is this? Fucking homophobes!
Adrian | 2011-05-09 21:51

I don't see a screen capture, so I am not sure what the totals WERE.. but at 5:17 PM Central, the totals were as follows...
More likely to do business with 6,238
Less likely to do business with 188,946
No change in amount of business 3,946

Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Carmine Giovinazzo
Mark wrote to suggest today's Slap, Carmine Giovinazzo, saying:
I couldn't see that you'd slapped Carmine Giovinazzo from CSI:NY anywhere, and I was reminded about how hot he is when watching it last night and he was wearing a tight fitted T-shirt.....great arms.
Well, it looks to me that he has more than great arms. I just wish I'd been able to find a bit more skin; there are a couple pics of Carmine with his shirt off, but none of them show his full torso.

Anyway, as Mark mentioned, Carmine Giovinazzo is currently in CSI:NY, playing Danny Messner. He was also briefly in a series called Shasta McNasty, which was very brief itself; if the show was as bad as the title, I'm surprised it lasted 10 episodes.

Carmine was also on the big screen in Black Hawk Down and Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss, where he played "Gundy" - I don't remember him at all. And it looks like he's going to be on the big screen again in This is not a Test, with his fellow CSI'er, and former Slap, Eddie Cahill.

Carmine looks like he has the perfect amount of fur, doesn't he? Just a light little dusting that's fun to run your hands through. He's not doing as much for me as Adam Levine, but what can you do?



More Carmine Giovinazzo


Comments
very nice...
dae | 2011-05-09 21:51


Slap! - Alex Dimitriades
Though he was born in Australia, actor Alex Dimitriades is of Greek heritage. I don't have any recorded suggestions for Alex here - I actually ran across him in the "Slap candidates" folder on my hard drive. Yes, I have a whole folder dedicated to Slapping people...

Anyway, Alex hasn't been in a lot of stuff - with the notable of the cinematic tour de force Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. You know, it's really cruel that the Academy denied such a fine movie even an Oscar nomination. And as you can see in the pics after the jump, Alex is happy to show skin, showing everything in Head On:
A 19 year old Greek youth struggles with his sexual identity and has several homosexual and a clumsy heterosexual encounters.
That one just got added to my Netflix queue.

Although you don't get a "full" view of his body, like you do with a model, it's clear Alex looks fantastic. And that ass is nearly perfect. Enjoy!



More Alex Dimitriades


Comments
Sultry, pretty, the guy's so hot, I'm tongue-tied.

No need for more April slaps...I want to savor this guy for the rest of the month. Competition closed.
Will | 2011-05-09 21:51

That Head On is one intense movie, full of self-destruction.Very Rebellious, much like James Dean. There's a scene where he shoots up and makes some big Chinese guy go down on him in the alley. He is totally hot in it.
Vick Mafille | 2011-05-09 21:51

sexy bitch!
dae | 2011-05-09 21:51

Absolutely stunning!!
KCChieffan | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Adam Levine
I have to confess that I'm surprised by today's Slap. Surprised that I've never noticed him - and surprised that nobody's ever requested him. At least not in my admittedly imperfect request archive.

Of course I've heard of Maroon 5, but I probably couldn't have told you their lead singer was Adam Levine, and I know I couldn't have told you that he looked this utterly fantabulous! I mean like seriously smokingly gorgeous! That chest hair, that body, that face. What more could I ask for?? I think I've already cast my vote for Slap of the Month.

I honestly can't say that I'm very familiar with Maroon 5's music, but I have a vague recollection of liking it.



More Adam Levine


Comments
Nce. He seems to have a bit of Christopher Meloni in him, too.
Rich | 2011-05-09 21:51

I must be missing something.
MC | 2011-05-09 21:51

meh, overrated. Plus, I hear he really plays up his rock star status in getting women. Seems like a douche bag hidden under a veneer of nice guy cuteness and tall, dark, and handsomeness.
Brandon h | 2011-05-09 21:51

Christopher Meloni? I don't see any remote similarities. Doesn't float my boat.
Rick | 2011-05-09 21:51

Show/Hide More Comments...

Cute!
These are so cute, I just wanna bite them!



Food-shaped USB Flash Drives

Slap! - Simon Woods
Sorry for the missed Slap yesterday, but I'm still getting my feet back on the ground after my week in Mexico. It's amazing how the crap just piles up. Oy.

Anyway, on to today's victim. I know I gave this guy the "random hottie" treatment just a few days ago, but I've been enjoying his peformance in Rome so much that I just had to go ahead and get him Slapped. As you may or may not know, Simon Woods is busy playing Augustus in HBO's series Rome. And he's doing a fantastic job. Actually, the series may have wrapped - I know it's due to end soon - but I'm still catching up. Thank god for OnDemand!!

The rumor out and about is that this cutie is gay, and I'm fairly certain it's true, even though I didn't find it in any major media outlets. But in researching it on IMDb, I found limited confirmation that he "putts from the rough". I love that phrase.

As for his career, Simon is best known for playing Mr. Bingley in Pride & Prejudice. He was also in Elizabeth I.

For my part, I have to say that Simon here can be my emperor any day at all.



More Simon Woods


Comments
Gorgeous! Great butt! Thank you!
Kevin | 2011-05-09 21:51

Not someone I would usually be interested in........but, amazing butt and amazing everything else. Hmmmm.....very sexy, toned with not an ounce of fat, and the glistening sweat really turns me on.
Steven | 2011-05-09 21:51

YES YES YES!!!
AH-MAZ-ZING!!!!
What a cute butt, and theres something sexual about seein a man doing a woman, even tho I personally wouldnt go near snatch
Jurgen | 2011-05-09 21:51

Oh god - I have SUCH a Paul Bettany fetish so Simon is right up my alley. Also, agreed - amazing ass!
G | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Blake Lewis shirtless!
Surfing around Dreamcaps today, I ran across this pic of Idol Blake Lewis shirtless. YUM:




Comments
Yum is right! He has got a hot Gyllen-tummy!
bron | 2011-05-09 21:51

ooooo, I knew he was hairy. Now find Richardson. DD
DD | 2011-05-09 21:51

Blake is so hot! There are sone great pics of him out there. I found one (obviously photo shopped) of Blake and Chris all cuddly together in a chair. Thanks to whoever did that...
Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51

meh.
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

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DialIdol predictions
OK, I usually don't discuss DialIdol predictions, but this week I'm gonna. But since it's a possible spoiler, I'll treat it as such.

Oh, and you probably won't want to read any comments that get posted, either.

[SPOILER]Alright, now that we're all together here - WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Phil Stacey is #1? Apparently the earth has been knocked out of its orbit and is even now swirling down the drain into the sun. There are a couple of sources of comfort I can see here:

1) The margin of error. The margin of error is large enough that he might be as low as #3.

2) DialIdol only has a very limited view of the data.

3) Sanjaya is at the bottom.

Still, the idea of Phil staying around for another week makes me want to shove hot pokers in my eyes.
[/SPOILER]


Comments
I so agree with you, I am so glad someone else wants Phil to go home. I so wish he had gone last week. When they said last week that Country was next I just knew he would somehow redeem himself in America's eyes. GAG!!! Although Dial Idol has not been very accurate this year.Maybe there is hope!!
Chris | 2011-05-09 21:51

I want Phil to go home (he reminds me of Dobby from the Harry Potter movies). But I can live with him for another week if it means the 'jaya finally heads home.
Blake | 2011-05-09 21:51

YAY SANJAYA IS GONE!!!! Now all we need to do is get rid of Phil!!!
Chris | 2011-05-09 21:51

One small step for mankind one giant leap for good taste.
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

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A little bit of Country
Vince is back with his American Idol comments this week too!

-----------------------

You know country music has come a long way when you start recognizing most of the songs they sang tonight, then I looked at my own collection and realized I have CD's from quite a few country artists, I won't say who though......heeehaaaaww!!

PHIL STACEY - Where the Black Top Ends
Put a cowboy hat on him, a plaid shirt and some spurs and I think we found ourselves the new Garth Brooks or maybe Chris Gaines. (If anyone knows who Chris Gaines is I'll be very surprised). Anyway his voice found a genre......finally!

JORDIN SPARKS - A Broken Wing
Besides looking like a GLAD garbage bag that we normally use to fill up with leaves during Halloween, she gave the best performance of the night. This songbird is flying high and soaring!!

SANJAYA MALAKAR - Something to Talk About What an appropriate title, unfortunately it's not about his singing, but a lack of it. I guess he was going for a country bumpkin look, but he came out looking like Aunt Jemima's nephew from the ghetto.
A few things I wanted to point out:
1. Did you see how the back up singers were backing away from him when he appraoched them?
2. Did you notice that even his family is embarrased to show up to the show? They weren't in the audience.

LAKISHA JONES - Jesus, Take the Wheel
Unfortunately, Jesus did NOT take the wheel on this performance tonight. Jesus was either stunned by her shouting her performance or by those gold lame boots! Holy Moly!

CHRIS RICHARDSON - Mayberry
It was a less than OK performance. It was as boring a song as the town of Mayberry itself probably, but he would be able to replace the lead singer of Rascal Flatts.

MELINDA DOOLITTLE - Trouble is a Woman
Stardom is Melinda, Talent is Melinda. The trouble here is trying to find anything negative to say about her performance. She may not have the hair, although it looked better this week, or the raspy voice or the legs of Tina Turner, but she's got her moves and her I don't give a fuck attitude!! She's simply the Best!

BLAKE LEWIS - When The Stars Go Blue
Not my favorite performance from him, but it was still good. All I kept thinking though when he sang, "Where Do You GO When The Stars Go Blue?", in my head I kept repeating my address over and over again, hoping he would hear me.

Unfortunately, because the judges were unanimous in their opinion about Lakisha's performance, I think she may be going home, unless of course America comes to their senses and votes off Aunt Jemima.


Comments
I agree that Melinda was the best of the night.. but is that a huge surprise? Phil did a really good job with his song.. which pissed me off, because I am more than ready to see him go. Oh, and Chris Gaines? He is a rocker made up by Garth Brooks when his celebrity went to his swollen head.
Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51


Bermuda
My husband and I are considering a trip to Bermuda at some point (yes, I know we just got back from Mexico), and I ran across this story about Rosie O'Donnell's cruise for gay families visiting Bermuda. Yes, the story is about how church groups were going to protest. Yawn. What caught my eye was this:
...Bermuda's prime minister had assured them they would be welcome as tourists and they had also received hundreds of supportive e-mails from people who live in the wealthy British enclave.
Can I just say how refreshing that is, after hearing about island after island refusing docking privileges, etc., to gay cruises?

So please, if you're considering an island vacation, consider spending your dollars in Bermuda.

(h/t gay news blog)


Comments
Actually many islands are very supportive....My native island Sint Maarten has had a gay resort for more than 5 years and gay cruises on a regular basis....Not all of the Caribbean is really that bad...
Nicholas | 2011-05-09 21:51

I had always read that Bermuda and Jamaica were best avoided by openly/outwardly gay couples, and out-right dangerous for gay singles....with the Bahamas running a close third. Is the PM of Bermuda cynically pursuing the Pink Dollar, or have attitudes really changed on Bermuda?
Ted B. (Charging Rhino) | 2011-05-09 21:51

Most of the people in Bermuda are great. My partner and I were at a benefit with Rosie and Kelly last year and they asked us to come on the cruise. But kids are not really our idea of relaxation. Don't get me wrong I love my nieces and nephews, but I usually have an escape route marked out, and I don't think the O'Donnells would be thrilled if we escaped with one of theirs lifeboats! Have fun!
Kevin | 2011-05-09 21:51

And soon there will be 6...
Phil Stacey - Where the Blacktop Ends
OK, I hate Phil, so don't expect a lot of objectivity here. And Martina's crazy to say she likes his voice. Oy. I will confess this much - he's giving a much more involved performance tonight than I can remember from him; he actually seems to fit into this song. But I still want him voted off. B+.

Jordin Sparks - Broken Wing
I really think Jordin gets better every week. And I'm so glad Martina gave her the advice of committing to the song by standing strong and conveying everything with your face. OK, but I do have to say this: Jordin needed to wear something different tonight - she looks like a red and silver cow. As for the performance, while I think standing still was the right thing to do, she looked very uncomfortable doing it - until the end. In the end, she really got going and was able to deliver, I think, a very good performance. B+.

Sanjaya Malakar - Let's Give 'em Something to Talk About
Let's all say a silent prayer of thanks that he didn't, as was rumored, sing Boot Scootin' Boogie. But sweet fancy moses, check out that hair! Sanjaya continues to surprise me as he seems more comfortable on stage every week. I do wish he'd have a little more fun with this song, but he's not doing badly. And did he miss some lyrics? Maybe not? It wasn't glaring, at any rate. Well, I'd have to say his performance was nothing to write home about (!), but whatever. B-.

LaKisha Jones - Jesus Take the Wheel
Wow! This seems pretty dangerous - choosing a song sung first by Carrie Underwood? I agree with Martina that it's a good choice to choose a song that has a lot of personal meaning, however, so we'll see. You know, if she "really believes" it so much, I could have seen more emotion I think. And Randy was right - it was pretty pitchy. B-.

Chris Richardson - Mayberry
You know, I think Chris should be pretty good doing country. I think Martina'a right here too - his voice can do country pretty well. I hope he does well, because I want him to stick around another week. And I think he's giving a really interesting performance tonight - I can't say that I'm familiar with the original, but I'm really enjoying Chris. He maybe had a pitch problem or two, but I think every week he does great arrangements that take songs and make them his. B+.

Personally, I have to disagree with the judges in this case. Then again, perhaps I'm biased. Of course, Chris doesn't need to get bitchy.

Melinda Doolittle - Trouble is a Woman
You know, I don't know that country will be Melinda's best genre, but frankly I think she can sing anything. Jeez, do I really need to say anything here? This performance is incredible. A.

Blake Lewis - When the Stars Go Blue
Eek. I worry about this one for Blake. I'm not sure if his voice can do this. It's sounding a little pitchy. I'm having trouble deciding what I think of this. It's not as interesting as his performances normally are, but... I'm conflicted. B+. For no particular reason that I can identify.


Well, there's no question whatsoever tonight - Melinda shone again. Jordin was a distant second.

No slap today...



Comments
Just returned home from being in Tallahassee, FL this past weekend, having watched the FSU / Virginia Tech baseball series. All thoughts are with the students, parents, faculty, and administration at VT. I hope their combined recovery can be swift, although no one will soon forget this tradgedy.
Patt Griggs | 2011-05-09 21:51

I am grief stricken about this whole tragedy. This has brought about too many memories of when my own brother was senselessly murdered in a random act of violence a few years ago. When will we ever learn that guns don't kill people, people with guns kill people.
dcdrew | 2011-05-09 21:51


Um, like no offence or anything. But when are Americans going to understand the need for gun control? Just a crazy, insane thought from Canada.
Canuck | 2011-05-09 21:51

Um, like no offence or anything. But when are Americans going to understand the need for immigration control? Just a crazy, insane thought from Canada.
kcunac | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Robin Thicke
Watching The Today show recently, I saw today's Slap, hottie Robin Thicke talking to Matt Lauer about something. I immediately shushed my husband and checked him out.

Robin Thicke, as you might guess, is the son of Alan Thicke, who was of course banana-loving Kirk Cameron's father on Growing Pains.

Robin is a musician with a couple of albums out, including a new release called The Evolution of Robin Thicke. Amazon has this to say in its review:
Despite the range of moods on display, they're all in service to Thicke's inner R&B smoothie, and they all brush up against the ear with something like affection. Hard as it will be for listeners of a certain age to get past knowing that Thicke is the son of Alan Thicke, the actor who did his part to cheese up 1980s TV with the sitcom Growing Pains, they're going to have to: with his fan base swelling by the second, the evolution of Robin Thicke is going to be a deservedly loud one.
And a quick listen to the samples of some of the tracks sounded pretty good.

Now if only I could find a picture or two of Robin with his shirt off that didn't look quite so skanky. That long hair was nasty!



More Robin Thicke


Comments
NOPE... don't see it. Looks kind of funny lookin to me...
dae | 2011-05-09 21:51

He is quite pretty. Too bad he can't sing.
Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51

More Ricky Martinesque than Chris Cornnelish.
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

I checked out Robin several weeks ago after seeing him on some program. After watching his videos and seeing his pics... I have to say that while he is attractive in his own sort of way, there is also something ODD about him.
Bleu | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Ricky Martin
Lloyd wrote to suggest today's victim, Menudo star Ricky Martin, saying:
...a couple weeks back i caught Ricky Martin in Caracas at a concert... though I had never really liked him, the guy EXUDES magnetism... he is way too hot... and today in the advocate there was an article in which he had hair on his chest! ;)
I know! Hair on his chest! Who knew?? You can see a couple of those pics after the jump. I have to say, in one of them he looks a bit too much like a gorilla. Perhaps he just needs some "manscaping", instead of a complete wax.

As for Ricky, I can tell you next to nothing about him. Sure, he's hot, but what else is there? I know he performed She Bangs and Livin' la Vida Loca. Other than that, I got nothing.



More Ricky Martin


Comments
Although that is a hot picture of someone in a bathtub, I highly doubt it is Ricky Martin. It looks photoshopped.
Jimmy | 2011-05-09 21:51

the man is beautiful!
dae | 2011-05-09 21:51

You're leaving out the best part. When Ricky's career in the U.S. heated up, and he was interviewed by Barbara Walters, she basically asked him if he were gay. And Ricky did a nice little two-step around the question, claiming to respect everyone's sexuality, not having a problem with it, etc, but wanting to maintain his privacy.
Mark | 2011-05-09 21:51

I didn't see any foto with too much hair.
Now how about some Enrique Iglesias?
lars | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Upen Patel
We haven't had a Bollywood star in a while, so I thought we'd turn today's choice over to Skyler who suggested Indian model & actor Upen Patel.

Apparently he started out as a model, and is now trying to become an actor, thus his rather lean acting resume.



More Upen Patel


Comments
Hot and spicy, just like I like it.
jemmytee | 2011-05-09 21:51

Vikas Khanna, Hritik Roshan, Abrahim ??? and now Upen Patel. Get Sanjaya too.
These guys are getting spicier.
Atul | 2011-05-09 21:51

Holy curry, Batman! Very nice choice. I especially like the one with the pink pants (and the sizable bulge within!).
Steve | 2011-05-09 21:51


Slap! - David Duchovny
David Duchovny was suggested as a Slap by John.

David was, of course, Special Agent Fox Mulder in The X-Files for about 8 seasons. And we still don't know what, exactly "The Truth" is. But that's another post.

Since the X-Files stopped production, he seems to have done a number of episodes of The Red Shoe Diaries. The Red Shoe Diaries was originally a soft-core porn series on Showtime, with David as the narrator. It was later made into a movie that was decidedly more mainstream.

I've always thought David was hot - there's just something so masculine and sexy about him. And he doesn't shave his (admittedly light) chest hair. Nice! But I also heard somewhere that he's a bit of a snot. Too bad.



More David Duchovny


Comments
I'm surprised you didn't have the screen caps of the infamous 'red speedo' shot from the 1st season of XFiles. It cemented his position as a hot geek!
Kim | 2011-05-09 21:51

I have to say, I never thought I'd ever see David Duchovny wearing leather pants. Or a teacup....
MC | 2011-05-09 21:51

I don’t know; David always did it for me. I thought he was extremely sexy in the Red Shoes Diaries days—I think it was his voice and the smoldering way he carried himself. He looked like he’d be an animal in the sack. Even during X-Files, he just gave of this sexual magnetism—I’m not sure what it was. But, I’d have done him back in the day~ ;-)
Dave | 2011-05-09 21:51

He reminds me of the Bumsteads' neighbor, Elmo.
Patrick | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Tobey Maguire
After Mike mentioned him, I was surprised to see today that I'd never Slapped Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire. I've Slapped his co-star James Franco (who is MUCH hotter) before, but Tobey's not so bad looking, so it seems like I really should Slap him.

In fact, in Spider-Man, Tobey really looked pretty good. He really had a good personal trainer.

I really haven't seen him in much else, so I can't say if his look is consistently good, but it seems like I've heard he was extra buff to play Spidey. I saw him in Pleasantville and The Cider House Rules, and he seemed to look fairly normal in those.

Regardless, I'm sure he'll look buff again in Spider-Man 3, which is due out May 7. And, p.s., I just saw on IMDb that the budget for SM3 was $300,000,000. Are you fucking kidding me?? 300 million dollars?? Holy crap.



More Tobey Maguire


Comments
Love his acting, but my partner and I have always referred to him as "k.d. lang". Look closely... not identical, but the similarities are there.
John in T.O. | 2011-05-09 21:51

By comments I've heard, he'sa good guy. But word is it took more than a personal trainer to turn him into Spidey--some computer morphing as well.
Frank | 2011-05-09 21:51

In most pics, he is OK looking.. nothing special. Is "not so bad looking" a qualification for a Slap?
Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51

it was an immedient dissapointment. i think you should make a new one.
anonymous | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Steve Byers
Tralfaz wrote to turn me on to "one of [his] favorite guilty pleasures", Falcon Beach, and had this to say:
it dawned on me that it stars one slapalicious guy: Steve Byers. The show is Canada's version of The O.C., and Byers plays a wakeboarder (meaning he's constantly shirtless, much to the gratitude of his many fans).
Well, frankly, anyone who's asked to play a wakeboarder in a trashy soap along the lines of The O.C. is simply, with no need to see him, hot, and 30 year-old Canadian actor Steve Byers certainly lives up to the requirements. And since he's only 30, I imagine he's playing an 18-year-old on FB?

For what it's worth, Steve was also in House of the Dead, and the forthcoming Left for Dead.



More Steve Byers


Comments
if 30 is old, then at 35 i must be a preteen! i love it and i love those curls of his!
dae | 2011-05-09 21:51

Way too young.. but damn, he is hot!
Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51

Steve Byers is 30!
Shwa | 2011-05-09 21:51

Why are people always so surprised at "how young" actors look? I was being cast as a high school freshman when I was 48! Steve is hot. Thankyouverymuch!!!
tjinfla | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - J.P. Calderon
We have a winner!! Oh wait. We're not voting yet, are we? Well, I'm on the verge of pre-declaring J.P. Calderon as the winner of April's Slap of the Month voting. Holy fucking cow, could this guy be any hotter? As far as I'm concerned, he's knocking on Jamie Bamber's door.

J.P., as you may remember, was on the last version of Survivor, and then after Survivor appeared on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.

If you've been living under a rock, like I have, you may not know that TJDMA has gobs and gobs of hot guys on it. I really need to figure out how to become some sort of production assistant on that show. And it was on TJDMA that J.P. came out of the closet. That was quite some time ago, but I have to say that I, for one, am glad to have him on the team.



More J.P. Calderon

Many of the pics were shamelessly swiped from Kenneth and most of the the others were shamelessly swiped from Dreamcaps. Dreamcaps, by the way, has an excellent compilation of pics of a lot of the models from TJDMA.

Update 4/11/2007: I probably should mention that it seems like I've gotten 1,000,000 requests for J.P. in one form or another, including one I just received from Keegan.


Comments
Emmm... not bad. I'd probably do him. Cuter with clothes on, though... his pecs are only mm away from being manboobs.
John | 2011-05-09 21:51

I love me some JP...its ashame that his huge ego/arrogance got him kicked off of Survivor early in the game last season (or the season before??). When his season of Survivor debuted there was all sorts of dish online about him working as a barboy in one of the gay clubs in CA. I read that he came out because he was offered the cover of Instinct magazine and they require their cover models be gay (not sure if its true).
Doug | 2011-05-09 21:51

Nice... very nice, would do him any day...!
Taylor | 2011-05-09 21:51

WOW! JP is really cute, kind of a cross between Dale Midkiff and the dude from Roswell, but sexier.
Dan | 2011-05-09 21:51

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¿Cerveza?



Comments
Anywhere but here!
anonymous | 2011-05-09 21:51

Slap! - Michael Ballack
Art wrote to aske that I Slap German footballer Michael Ballack with this observation:
Watching that bulge bounce around is very slapable!
Really? Gosh, I wish we could get more soccer on TV here in the states. Maybe I'll see if I can find someone who'll host a Slingbox in Europe for me... Those footballers are just so reliable about taking their shirts off when something good happens. Why can't other sports learn from them?

Michael, as I said, is German and apparently captains the German national team. Professionally, he plays in the UK for Chelsea.



MOre Michael Ballack


Comments
check out
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ue7fpo2sOK4
it is hypnotic
Art | 2011-05-09 21:51

HOT DAMN...

I was gonna come in here and make some slap suggestions but got a little distracted. Wow.


Anyway, Rob, I don't know if you're a fan of ABC's Dancing With the Stars but you have got to slap JONATHAN ROBERTS and hottie potatie MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY. They're so slap worthy your hand will vibrate back after slapping....
'Lo | 2011-05-09 21:51

He's from East Germany and is married with a family. If German soccer players are to your taste, you might also want to consider his fellow member of the national team, Lukas Podolski, who is blond and a good bit younger than the fascinating Ballack.
Patrick | 2011-05-09 21:51

Ballick is quite the looker and Podolski is cute if you like young blondes, but I prefer the Dortmund goalkeeper, Roman Weidenfeller.
Duane | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Bobby Boyd
Incredible! I have been looking for pictures of model Bobby Boyd forever. FOREVER. Ever since I saw him modeling something or other way back on Solis Company. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but he had some silly messenger bag in front of him so you couldn't see anything. Augh! And I don't know how I missed them on Kenneth's site. Anyway...

But in researching someone else today (who the hell was that?), I found some pictures of Bobby. Wow! What a hottie! And on the cover of Instinct too! Is the rumor true that all Instinct cover models are gay? Lovely.



More Bobby Boyd

Pics via Kenneth and Dreamcaps.


Comments
Yummy...a little twinkish in some pics, but nonetheless...Yummy...
Dan | 2011-05-09 21:51

YES!! It's true, ALL cover models for Instinct HAVE TO BE GAY. Didn't you see the Janice Dickinson scandal over that Survivor guy, JP, being on the cover?
redranger1870 | 2011-05-09 21:51

The Easter Bunny Lives!
Rick | 2011-05-09 21:51

Cuter than a yellow Easter marshmallow peep!
Dave83201 | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - David Faustino
William wrote - ages and ages ago - to request a number of people, among them today's Slap, David Faustino.

Clearly best known for his role as Bud Bundy in Married with Children, David doesn't seem to have done much else of note.

Unfortunately, the quality of caps is less than ideal. David is really kind of cute, but the only OK skin caps I found were of him a bit younger. But unfortunately, David here finds himself smack in the middle of a 15-Slap batch that I'm posting, so I'm kinda giving him short shrift.



More David Faustino


Comments
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Gino | 2011-05-09 21:51

YUK YUK YUK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Paul B. | 2011-05-09 21:51

isn't it a few days late for april fools?
Bob | 2011-05-09 21:51

Not THAT bad... Could be worse! He does have a little cuteness factor going for him...
Bleu | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap of the Month - Greg Vaughn
Sorry I took so long to end the voting for Slap of the Month, but I kinda got distracted this week... I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ready for a vacation.

Anyway, I am pleased to announce that the winner of March's Slap of the Month voting is Greg Vaughan, who plays "Lucky" on General Hospital. I have to admit, Greg is truly incredible looking, but I had to cast my vote for Will Fennell.

March's honorable mention goes to Aussie model Derrick Hayes.

Greg Vaughan


Derrick Hayes



Comments
I take back what I said about March being lackluster. My brain must have been AWOL that day.
MC | 2011-05-09 21:51

I received my first credit loans when I was a teenager and this aided my business a lot. But, I need the college loan as well.
CASSANDRAHodges | 2011-05-09 21:51

A student, who gets know someth. just about essays to buy should appreciate your the best note. I guess that the order essays service can take this for the essay assignment blogs.
MirandaRush19 | 2011-05-09 21:51

It will be interesting to perform the university essay but that needs a lot of efforts anyway. Therefore different people, which are pressured by time, buy research papers. In such way, they save time. Therefore why should you waste your free time?
WoodsBIANCA | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Romain Barras
Today's Slap was suggested by Ed, who commented that perhaps Romain Barras was a bit too skinny, but hot nonetheless.

I have to agree, he is a bit too skinny. But there's no question -- he's amazing looking. Romain is a French decathlete, who appears to compete well, but has never won an Olympic medal.

Ed sent along Romain's personal web site, which seems to have been closed "definitively". I put the link in just in case definitive isn't so final...



More Romain Barras


Comments
He looks great, but how is he a bit skinny? He doesn't look skinny to me. If he's skinny, then I must be anorexic or something.
W | 2011-05-09 21:51

I don't find him skinny either. Absolutely LOVE hot guys in spandex!! Especially if they're bulgetastic!
Dan | 2011-05-09 21:51

Skinny??? He's SMOKIN' hot!!!
Yon | 2011-05-09 21:51

He's family:

If you can read French, check out his bio:

Cuisine

Les bons petits plats de ma maman. Sinon j’adore les restos « gays » de Montpellier comme Pizz’agri ou le Prince de Minorque où l’on sent l’amour de la bouffe et toujours un super accueil.

MC | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Chris and Blake, sitting in a ...


(via Queerclick)

Pretty much guaranteed to be fake, but fun nonetheless.

Slap! - Mark Furze
Christ, I swear I'm losing my mind. In doing some research for another Slap, I came across a picture of a cutie named Mark Furze. Since I'm well on my way to 1,000 Slaps, I don't always remember who I've taken care of and who's been missed, so I searched for him in the database. Well, much to my surprise, I'd posted the "more" pictures of Mark, but never posted the actual Slap of him. So clearly I'm going right off the deep end.

Nevertheless, Mark Furze it is. Mark is an Aussie actor who seems to be best known for his role as Ric Dalby in Home and Away. Also in Home and Away is former Slap Chris Hemsworth.

Mark seems to have a skosh of baby fat hanging around, but honestly, he still looks fantastic.



More Mark Furze


Comments
anyone else think this cutie has a Matt Lanter thing going on? Body-wise, especially? Looks very similar to me.
Mark | 2011-05-09 21:51

Now we know why that garden gnome has a big shit-eatin' grin on his face...
Steve | 2011-05-09 21:51

Face is so/so. Even without the fat there's not much of a body there. May I suggest glasses...?
Chris | 2011-05-09 21:51

Most of these pictures of Mark from Home and Away are a couple of years old. As an avid Home and Away fan, I can infrom all that Mark is definately one of the best bod's in Summer Bay. I'll send pictures of a recent game of strip poker!
anonymous | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Betcha didn't know...
... that the existence of the banana proves that there's a god, and is the bane of all atheists.



I'll refrain here from mocking the host of the video for his demonstration of how to put the banana in one's mouth.

Thanks Scott!.


Comments
More Kurt! More Kurt!
KJ | 2011-05-09 21:51

My bad! It's Kirk Cameron listening raptly to the nonsense.

Well, I guess he's still cute.
KJ | 2011-05-09 21:51

Can't wait for the pineapple demonstration!
scydok | 2011-05-09 21:51

Religion should be like maturbation. Best done in the privacy of your own home. What a couple of halfwits.
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Random hottie! - Simon Woods
Is it just me, or did Octavian (Rome) grow up into a hottie?



The actor, Simon Woods is clearly due for a Slap soon.


Comments
I saw that episode and I think he is quite the hottie!
Jimmy | 2011-05-09 21:51

God, I loved that show. Too bad it's over. I actually wanted to see a man/man kiss between Pullo and Vorenus. That would have been hot.
KellersTattoo | 2011-05-09 21:51

Very hot. Just curious... did I somehow MISS where you said who won Slap Of The Month?
Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51

I rather think the younger version of Octavian could grow up to be very, very hot. And I agree with KellersTattoo, I crave for a Pullo myself.
YvesPaul | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - Ryan Ross
OK, this is gonna sound stupid, but I really don't know who Ryan Ross is. And heck, I'm just relying on the fact that I wrote his name down to know that - I could be wrong.

I don't even know where I got his pictures. I assume he's some sort of model, but that's all I got.

But for obvious reasons, when I was surfing around one day, I saw him, beckoning like a siren, and I knew I had to Slap him. He's just too hot for words. So, he's been lingering on my hard drive for quite a while and it just seemed like today was the right day to smack him.



More Ryan Ross


Comments
He's an actor. Check him out on his official website: ryanross.tv
RCG | 2011-05-09 21:51

Is staring as "Kevin" in the movie "Neowolf" being released this summer. see www.neowolfthemovie.com
wurmfafner | 2011-05-09 21:51

For about 3 seconds I thought he was that kid, Zac Efron, from High School Musical. Then I did some searching, love your new search feature. Check it out. This could be Zac's hunky older brother! DAMN! I love those boy next door types. Like Mr Rogers used to say, "Won't you be my neghibor!"
Scott | 2011-05-09 21:51

So Hot! So Young! So wrong! So conflicted! Gaaaaah!!!
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Vince's Idol
First off let me start by saying that singing standards is tough in every sense of the word. The lyrics may be simple, but the phrasing and keeping up with the melody is not. In addition, standards tested the vocal abilities of singers back then and certainly did not rely on the theatrics or sexiness we see in today's musical landscape. Having said that, I applaud each and every one of the top 9 for doing a great job. However, some were better than others, here are my comments of the night:

BLAKE LEWIS
He can go from sounding like Jamiroqai to Michael Buble while still making the songs sound hip. But the only hip and fresh thing about his performance last night was his suit. His vocals were a little stale.

PHIL STACEY
I can't get passed the Mr. Potatohead and Conehead look. He does have a good voice, but with all due respect to Mr. Bennett, I don't think he has one of the best voices of the top 9 remaining. But then again, this coming from a man who praises Sanjaya for being a great singer and for being different? Different how? His hair styles? This is a singing competition Mr. Bennett. Blake Lewis is different, Sanjaya is in his own bubble. Can somebody say senile???

MELINDA DOOLITTLE
This girl has rhythm, she has talent, she's got a magnificent voice, she's got feeling, she's got charisma, but more importantly....she's got a neck!!!! We finally saw most of it last night!!

CHRIS RICHARDSON
First of all, can I get an AMEN for Chris' arms? He definitely broke out the big guns ( no pun intended ) last night to get ahead of the pack. He was confident, playful and as usual charming. His performance was simply delicious!

JORDIN SPARKS
Whoever needs cafeine, zoloft or a valium to get through their day, they should try some replacement therapy by listening to Jordin's perky performance. I swear if Katie Couric and Little Richard ever had a child together, she would be it.

GINA GLOCKSEN
Boring performance and out of her element. She had one of the most forgettable performances of the night.

SANJAYA MALAKAR
Victor Victoria meets Saturday Night Fever. Honestly, I don't know what else to say about this guy, but that his time is definitely up.

HALEY SCARNATO
Was anybody else wondering if an air vent on the stage was going to blow up her dress or if a stripper pole was going to suddenly appear? Anyone? Honestly, I think I saw the same performance once, but the only difference was the dress I saw on the woman performing was put together with velcro.....you know what I'm saying?? To say the least, her performance must have been very entertaining to the male audience last night.

LAKISHA JONES
If Tony Bennett is the King of Swing, then I think Kiki deserves the title of being Queen. She captured the essence of the genre from Billy Holiday's look to Ella fitzgerald's passionate performances. She was simply divine!!

I'm hoping for Sanjaya to get the boot, but it seems unlikely, so I am going to go with Haley.



Comments
Ummmm excuse me, but American Idol is amazing, and has produced some great singers.

Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Katharine McPhee, Elliott Yamin, Chris Daughtry.

Sanjaya is just a sad little boy who needs to be slapped with reality that he SUCKS and is just another American Idol laugh-riot, like William Hung, Chicken Little, and anyone else in that league.

This show is NOT a farce.
Jake | 2011-05-09 21:51

Slapdate! - Jared Padalecki
Law wrote a couple of days ago to mention that he'd seen former Slap Jared Padalecki looking very hot on Supernatural, so I figured I should try to round up the pics if possible. And all I have to say is: WOW. I really don't know why I don't watch this show - after all, Jensen Ackles is really hot too.



More Jared Padalecki

Thanks to Dreamcaps for the pics.


Comments
Thanks for identifying him as the guy in House of Wax who was stripped naked, strapped to a chair and had hot wax sprayed on him. Damn sexy scene, knowing it was all staged/fake. The prep scene was hot too, his jeans being cut opened as he lay on the table, drugged..
Sexy Chinese | 2011-05-09 21:51

I must be blind—I just don’t get the appeal. Everybody seems to love this guy and I just don’t see why. Jensen Ackles is so much hotter than this guy!
Dave | 2011-05-09 21:51

yeah... he's cute. have yet to see the show, but it looks good.
dae | 2011-05-09 21:51

I'm seriously lusting after this pup. And I love to hear him talk.
Ricky | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Nine bottles of Idol on the wall
Blake Lewis - Mack the Knife
I got here a little late, but what a fantastic performance! A great interpretation of the jazzy, funky standard. I was sure that Simon wouldn't like it, but he seemed to. A-.

Phil Stacey - Night and Day
OK Phil, you've been looking forward to this week, huh? So are you gonna bring it? And I have to disagree with Tony - I don't think Phil is a very good singer. And what happened to Tony's advice? Where's the beat?? And pitchy pitchy pitchy. And is it just me, or does he look like some sort of bizarre alien tonight? Eh. Better than his mess last week, but still boring. B-.

Randy Finally he gets the comment to the crowd right! Fantastic!

Paula A young Frank Sinatra?? Are you fucking kidding me? Take away her vodka?

Simon Exactly right - a funeral parlor.

Awwww. Focusing on his wife. How sweet. I guess he's not going home this week.

Melinda Doolittle - I've Got Rhythm (Is that the title?)
Tony said "Best singer all day." Definitely. This should be fantastic. Ooooh. Look at her getup! She looks great this week! And honestly, at this point she could sing her ABC's and win. She's just so much better than anyone else. God, that last little part gave me chills! I LOVE her! A.

Randy "This is how you do it." Yep.

Paula "Flawless."

Simon "We'll never be able to criticize you." Honestly, I kinda agree with Simon and his comment about the first 1/2 of the song being "cabaret". When she started the song, I was worried about the performance, but she really brought it home.

Chris Richardson - Mr. Saturday Dance Don't Get 'Round Here Any More (Thanks Doug!)
Have I mentioned how cute Chris is?? OK, first off, I love the hat. And the initial impression is that this is a perfect song for Chris. It's an old standard that can fit well into his style. And I think he fully delivered it tonight. Fantastic! A.

Randy "Very cool and young and hip."

Even Simon liked it! Woohoo!

Jordin Sparks - On a Clear Day
Well, Tony seemed to like her performance and style, so let's see how she does. Frankly, I think she's doing pretty well, but I worry that it's a skosh too cabaret. She's just not quite owning it, I don't think. B+.

Randy "That was the bomb."

Simon "You didn't make the song young and current." Right.

Gina Glockson - Smile
This theme could be rough for Gina. Frankly, it doesn't sound like it's quite upbeat enough for her, but we'll see. I'm not sure the fishnet hose were the right choice, but then again I'm not Mr. Blackwell any more than Simon is. So far she's doing a nice job with the vocals, but can you really deliver this song with a pierced tongue? Maybe I'm biased. Honestly, that performance felt "Fabulous Baker Boys" to me. B.

Sanjaya Malakar - Dancing Cheek to Cheek (?)
Tony'r right - Sanjaya is always interesting. Doesn't usually sing well, but there's always something to watch. And this week is no different. Look at that suit! And that hair! But the vocals this week seem especially bad. Pitchy and icky. Well, at the end he seemed to add just a little zing, but I don't think it fixed the performance. C.

Paula He is charming. Bad singer, but charming.

Haley Scarnatto - Ain't Misbehavin'
My husband's comment: "Is she still in this?" One thing is for sure, Haley knows how to dress. As for the song, she could really vamp this up, but she's flinching. It's a bit better than some of her other performances, but I'm just not convinced - not the way Melinda convinces me. Vocally, I think it's one of her stronger nights. B.

LaKisha Jones - Stormy Weather
I think this style and particularly this song suit LaKisha well. And wow! Look at that dress! Is she trying to do too much in this performance? It feels just a little bit busy. Very committed, but not quite coherent. And I think this song is perfect for her - I hate to see an imperfect performance. A-.


Overall, I think this is the best week of the show so far - the performances were, by and large, all good. More precisely, all of the performers were at or near the top of their games. There's still a gulf between the best and the rest.

This week, Sanjaya or Phil really should go. Let's face it - it should be Sanjaya, but since he probably won't, it should be Phil.

Update (4/3/2007):
In re-watching the good performances tonight, Patrick and I are struck by Blake's performance especially. He's got great rhythm and really did a fantastic job with that tune - his dance moves were totally entertaining. I think he's clearly the strongest guy left in the field. I don't think he's quite as good as Melinda, but you'd have a tough time convincing me that he shouldn't be in the final with her.


Comments
LOL....Chris's song was Dont Get Round Here Anymore...and the first line is Missed the Saturday Dance....not Mr. Saturday Dance....a VERY common mistake when not sung with good annunciation.

Oh and Chris is lick-o-licious..I just know there is the right amount of fur covering his body.
Doug | 2011-05-09 21:51

I was surprised at how many of the Idols seemed to be at the top of their game last night. Even Sanjaya didn't make me want to step in front of a fast moving vehicle, for a change. Blake (drool), Melinda, LaKisha... all were incredible. And last night, for the first time, I saw why everyone likes Chris. He looked very cute, and his voice surprised me. And that smile... :-D
Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51

Could someone explain to me what the sin is in being "cabaret"? Is it just because this is American Idol and the prevailing style should be "plastic"? It especially irritates me in reference to Melinda's version of "I Got Rhythm", because, excuse me, that was how the song's intro was written to sound!
Andy | 2011-05-09 21:51

Slap! - Tyson Ritter
I love me some skinny boys with shaggy brown hair, and Tyson Ritter definitely fits the bill!
That's how Xavier introduced me to Tyson Ritter, lead singer of The All-American Rejects.

One thing's for sure, Xavier is a skinny white boy with shaggy brown hair -- he has the whole adorkability going for him. He may not be quintessentially adorkable, but he's totally smoking hot. I just wish I could have found more skin pics of him...

One of the sources that Xavier suggested I check for pics of Tyson, was this YouTube video where he promises that the All-American Rejects will get completely naked if they get to the top of MTV's TRL. I haven't been able to find the status of the nudity challenge, however. Does anyone know?



More Tyson Ritter

Update (4/3/2007): How funny is it that today's Slap was on House tonight?


Comments
Tyson's okay. I personally find Brandon Flowers (lead singer of The Killers) way hotter.
Dan | 2011-05-09 21:51

The video never got to number one, which means...

*sigh*

...no nude Tyson for us to orgasm over.
Jake | 2011-05-09 21:51

He is kinda cute in a way, but if you want to start doing musical 'slaps' then put Fallout Boy's own Pete Wentz in these pages! As seen from his own leaked pix he has a nice tool, and not to mention he likes to make out with guys. He told blender..anyone is fair game above the waistline. Sounds like a winner 2 me.
T | 2011-05-09 21:51

Well, I've only seen him in their two big recent videos, but I think Tyson looks hotter than he does in many of these pics. I didn't get the dorkiness at all. But, he is a thin emo rocker, that's for sure. And while tall thin guys usually do nothing for me, Tyson's got it going on. I'd never seen him shirtless before, and the shot of him on stage with his guitar hanging over his sweaty chest is a real turn on. Good slap!
Eric W | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slapdate! - Henry Cavill


In case you haven't heard, Showtime has a new show called The Tudors starring, among others, former Slap Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Mark wrote to point out that Jonathan looks amazing -- and OhLaLa Paris has a couple of pics of one of the "others" Henry Cavill today, including a nice ass shot.

You can see more of Henry's original Slap here.


Comments
Who does he play in the Tudors? (I've been reading up on the period, so I'm curious. Unfortunately, I don't have Showtime.)
MC | 2011-05-09 21:51

have you seen this guy in the show!
Damn he steals every scene he's in. the guy is beyond handsome, and as much as I loved daniel Craig as James Bond, i would have loved to have seen Henry as 007.

great slap :-)
mark | 2011-05-09 21:51

YUM! Drastically handsome, yet not overdone.
Steven | 2011-05-09 21:51

Great slap! I first saw Henry in The Count of Monte Cristo and was stunned by his good looks. In the intervening years, he has changed from a beautiful boy to a very handsome man.
mickey | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slap! - T.J. Wilk
Patrick has been nagging me lately, and I can't believe it's taken me this long, to Slap model T.J. Wilk. He had this to say:
T.J. is supposed to be Janice's best/most in demand model because he's freakin hot and has a sweet, nice guy disposition. His day job is actually being a "manny" for three girls in Beverly Hills. (they showed some footage of him playing with the kids in the first season and it was adorable!)
I honestly don't know why I've waited this long - he really is amazing looking. I guess I just get distracted and lose things in my inbox. But as you can see, I eventually get the hot ones out...



More T.J. Wilk

Pics via Oscillate Wildly.


Comments
Wish there was a pic of his penis - oh well...Good slap regardless ;)
James | 2011-05-09 21:51

Yup, damn near perfect. Front runner for Slap of the Month!
dae | 2011-05-09 21:51

WHAT A F***IN' HOTT MAN BEEF!!
shp | 2011-05-09 21:51

Wish there was a pic of him smiling - oh well...Good slap regardless.
Snarf | 2011-05-09 21:51

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Slapdate! - James McAvoy
David wrote recently, looking to talk about former Slap James McAvoy:
I realize that you featured James McAvoy a while ago,But If you saw 'The Last king of Scotland', You might have seen our boy James in nothing but a smile.
Well, I thought if there was frontal nudity to be had, and since I'd gotten another request for James from Rod, it was important that I get it on here. So find the caps after the jump. I wish the caps were better, but one thing is for sure - James is amazing looking.



More James McAvoy


Comments
Looks like it is time to add Last King to my Netflix queue. Yum!
Tom | 2011-05-09 21:51

he can come sleep in my bed any day. I like them young and toned like that.
gary in co | 2011-05-09 21:51

Nice, wouldnt kick him out of bed...but can we have some hot MEN!
Steve | 2011-05-09 21:51

Awwhh, it's Mr Tumnus. Also enjoyed seeing his arse quite often in 'Shameless' very funny & gritty English TV series for those that enjoy a good laugh at white trash lifestyles.
Alan | 2011-05-09 21:51

Phew!
Holy cow, I'm exhausted. I just finished my 14th Slap in a row. Why, you ask? Well, my husband and I are going to Mexico at the end of the week, and I didn't want my loyal readers to miss their Slaps!

And I'm hoping to be able to keep up before I leave, and then to stay ahead when I get back. I just prefer having a small buffer.

As for Mexico, you may or may not see posts from me when I'm out of town. If you do, it will most likely be pictures of the trip. Stay tuned!

And since I haven't addressed your requests yet, let me say, I'll be posting a picture or two of myself soon. One of the reasons I haven't is because I generally don't like my pictures, but there are a couple out there that I don't mind so much. So watch for that too...

Slap! - Dean Winters
In researching and Slapping Kirk Acevedo, you might well imagine that I'd have seen some other hot Oz guys that need a Slapping. Well, you'd be right. And Chris pointed Dean Winters out in his comment yesterday, so I figured he was a good start.

So first things first. About Oz. Did they shoot that entire show in the nude every week? Christ, nearly every pic I found showed nudity! How could I have missed out on this??? Oh, and speaking of nude, I found some extra nude shots of Luke Perry during my research that I went ahead and posted.

OK, moving right along.

In addition to his nakedness in Oz, Dean's also been in Rescue Me and Law & Order: SVU. He's also made a few movies I've never heard of.

As for Dean himself, he's just OK to me, but I'll admit that anybody who's willing to take off all his clothes on national TV moves much closer to the head of the line immediately.



More Dean Winters

A big thanks to "xyzpdq" over at Dreamcaps for all the great caps!

Slap of the Month - March!
Yes, boys (and girls...), it's that time again. Time to vote for your favorite guy from March. It's been an entertaining month, and even though I missed a few Slaps due to visitors and such, I think we have quite a nice selection of flesh from which to choose.

Starting out with Oscar nominee Ryan Gosling; doesn't he look fabulous with that beard?? And Brody Jenner, whether he's nice or not, is fucking hot! Will Fennell is quite the cutie, and he, incontrast to most of these other guys, is part of our team - woohoo! And Jonathan Tucker, while not a member of the team, didn't mind playing a member of the team - and frankly, he looks amazing in The Black Donnellys. And speaking of our team, don't forget Queer Eye's Kyan Douglas. Yum. Oh, right. And Ari Gold. Wow - we've had a lot of gay people Slapped this month, huh?

This month, I'll tell you who I'm voting for - in a roundabout way, so as not to skew the voting - I'm voting for the one person that's ever written to thank me for Slapping them. At least I'm 99% sure he's the only one. So anyway, there's no way for you to know for sure who I'm talking about, of course (I didn't post it earlier, did I? Hmmm. Well, I'm this far...), but you might be able to make a good guess.

So have at it!




Ryan Gosling


Greg Kinnear


John Corbett


James Roday


Brody Jenner


Will Fennell


Ryan Seacrest


Jonathan Tucker


William McNamara


Viggo Mortensen


Eric Winter


Kyan Douglas


David Paisley


Derrick Hayes


Ty Pennington


Zachary Quinto


Tom Hardy


Greg Vaughan


Steve Guttenberg


Ari Gold


Michael Shanks


David Wenham


Alec Newman


Kirk Acevedo




MC wrote:
Can I do a write-in vote?

You can always do a write-in vote, but is there someone I missed that you're voting for?


Comments
Slim pickings this time.
Patrick | 2011-05-09 21:51

much as I'd like to vote for Ari Gold, it's got to be Greg Vaughan if only for that wet t-shirt pic.
Chris A | 2011-05-09 21:51

I don't know how Zachary Quinto got slapped in the first place. He is so ugly!! His nose is just too fucking big. A definate let down for this otherwise excellent site.
william | 2011-05-09 21:51

Will Fennell is such an obvious choice for me, but I've been a long term John Corbett fan. Hmm... what to do, what to do?
yvespaul | 2011-05-09 21:51

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